Just thinking

about how I love the words to the theme tune for the show Sons of Anarchy.

Ride into this world, all alone
God takes your soul, you’re on your own
The crow flies straight, a perfect line
On the Devil’s bed, until you die
Gotta look this life in the eye

Mood of the Day = Grumpy

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Proud of me

For spending money on myself just for once...

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Maturity

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The thing about plans

Is that they are often subject to change.

The planned visit to my best mates new flat has been put off due to a change in plans at his end. I shall miss not going, but I know if I can’t find the time to arrange another trip there soon, I will be catching up with him for four days in July, when we make the annual pilgrimage to the Theakston’s Old Peculiar Crime Writing Festival in Harrogate.

Since the change came after the boyf had booked his time off work we decided that we might as well make the most of the fact we have of a weekend off together, and as such have booked a couple of nights away in Cardiff – at this place…

Now I’m all excited, because I love going away…

Appealing

I like this, it appeals to me. It left a lovely little smile when I read it the for the first time.

Go read it. You should.

http://bit.ly/8a3byw


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Quote of the Day

Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Anon.


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Plans

With the next few weeks due to be a tad hectic because of the end of one life, and the beginning of a new one, I thought I’d set down some of the things I’m looking forward to over the next few months so that when I’m feeling down, I can take a quick look at this post and remind myself of all the good stuff to come.

So let’s see, so far this year I have the following plans

January
The meeting of the parental units, the baby and the birthday / thank you dinner. My parents are coming down for my Mum’s birthday. At the same time they get to meet the boyfriend’s parents, and his son for the first time. I’m treating everyone to lunch, as a present for my Mum, a treat for my Dad, and boyf, and a thank you to the boyfriends parents because I’ve been staying at his house two weeks a month for the last three months.

February
A trip to my best mates new flat for a pub crawl. I don’t get to see him very often, although we talk a lot. Am looking forward to people watching with him again.

March
Hopefully the house will be gone sometime during the month so I get to move into a place of my own. The boyf also has the next sitting for his tattoo, so I’m looking forward to seeing more of it done.

May
The Boyf’s birthday, and if I’ve managed to keep enough holiday back, a weekend in Bristol at Crimefest 2010, catching up with some great authors and some old friends

June
My turn for a birthday, and hopefully a trip to Manchester

July

THEAKSTON’S OLD PECULIAR CRIME WRITING FESTIVAL, HARROGATE!!!!!!

YAY! - Especially since this year I’m going for three nights instead of two and I’ll be there for the awards dinner.


Ooh I have a good year planned :)

New Year, New Start

My divorce is weeks away from being sorted, my house is about to go on the market, and I'm looking forward to the new journey...


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I iz teh Ninja!

Gotta love boyfriends for knowing just what to buy...

Tattoos

So following on from all my court stuff the other day, I tweeted out about heading to the Tattoo shop, and got several tweets back asking me about it.

All it was, was a quick stop off to drop in my boyfriends deposit for the next sitting on his sleeve, but it kinda got to thinking that since he's so proud of it, and I love it, you might like it if I share some piccies with ya...

So 24 hours work so far,





This picture got taken while he was halfway through his last sitting...




Just another 10ish hours to to go as the dragons head gets extended and filled in...




As for me – I have some plans….. hence the reason I won’t go into any tattoo shops at the moment. :)

Politically correct Christmas greetings

Dear All,‬‪‬‪

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.‬‪‬‪

May you also have a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical‬‪ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.‬‪‬‪

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)‬‪‬‪‬

Regards

Jo
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Fingers crossed

Think my cat that's been missing for 13 months came home last night.

He's gone again for now.

Fingers crossed he comes back.

Questions

Can you suck a Rowntrees Fruit Pastille?

hmmm.....

Daft conversations make me smile

just now via text...

Boyf:- How's Work?

Me:- Ok Can't seem to think straight today, Brain feels like it's made of Candy Floss

Boyf:- Pink or Blue?

Me:- Today it's actually yellow, which is rather odd because normally it's pink

Boyf:- I've never had yellow candy floss, but then again I don't plan on eating your brain either

Just wondering....

Why do they call it being fast asleep? There's nothing fast about it...


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Quote of the Day

The only way to have a friend is to be one

~ Henry David Thoreau

15 Movies in 15 Minutes

So since Lori and Scarlett have already done it and I don’t like being left out, I’ve tagged along with this half-inched from facebook meme…It works like this – In no more than 15 minutes, come up with 15 films that for some reason have stuck with you. Don’t think too hard, just go with what comes to mind

1) Santa Claus the Movie - I remember going to see this at the cinema when it first came out. Just me and my Dad, we’ve both loved the film ever since, and it’s not just a watch it at Christmas favourite, but I think it’s less about the film and more about an afternoon, just the two of us.

2) Shaun Of The Dead - It just cracks me up, and you can’t get a better homage to the works of George A Romero anywhere….

3) Christine - The first car I fell I love with

4) Time Bandits - An epic battle of Good vs Evil, with short people…. It’s great when you’re 8, and it’s Terry Gilliam after all…

5) The Transporter - Jason Statham and the fight in the bus station, ‘nuff said!

6) The Crow - I like the thought that love is that strong, and besides isn’t there someone we all want to get our own back on...

7) The Living Daylights - The last film I went to see where they still stopped for an interval, and you all trooped off to the little shop for some ice cream.

8) The Lost Boys - My own original vampire flick

9) St Elmo’s Fire - the brat pack, the music, and the coming of age.

10) Clue - I used to spend hours with my best friend reciting the scene about how many bullets were in the gun. Simple things eh?

11) Beastmaster - Crying when the ferrets end up the fire….

12) Memento - Thank heavens for DVD easter eggs….

13) 8MM - Disturbing? Maybe, Good? Definitely, and whatever you may think about Nicholas Cage, I like him.

14) HollowMan - Great special effects, and the interesting question, what would you do if you didn’t have to face yourself in the mirror every morning

15) Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - ‘Life moves pretty fast, you need to take a day off every once in a while…’


Now it's over to you, and don’t forget to link back in the comments once you’re done…

Mood of the day = meh!

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By a slightly roundabout route...

A random conversation that kindof demonstrates how my mind works....

Me:-

'Who's that bloke that did the song that was in the charts forever... You know that irritating Robin Hood whatever I do lovey song?'

Mate:-

'Bryan Adams'

Me:-

'Thanks'

Mate:-

'Why?'

Me:-

'Wanted to know when I saw 'The Farm' in concert'

Mate:-

'WTF?'

Me:-

'Well I remember that song being played on the train on the way to the concert and me saying to my mate - God I Fuckin' Hate this Song!, so if I know when the song was in the charts, I know when I went to the concert....'

One quick wikipedia search and I remember... (honestly)

Freshly invigorated

Yep, I am feeling all enthused once more.‬‪

The reason?  Harrogate of course….‬‪‬‪

3 days spent in the company of internationally renowned authors, agents, publishers, aspiring authors and good friends, can not fail to renew even the most weary of reader / writers as me. ‬‪

Life, as you know, has got to me somewhat over the last few months and whilst I was sad my writing stalled, I was more upset that my reading stopped.  I haven't read a book in roughly 10 months, and my regular doses of escapism into the pages of prose of my favourite authors, were much missed. ‬‪

Now however, I am back reading.  I'm not tearing through the pages at the rate I used to, but I'm enjoying the stuff that I am reading, and probably if I'm honest getting more from the story and the writing than I used too.  It is a wonderful feeling to be able to lose myself in the imaginations of others again, instead of staring at rows of words on a page wondering what they all mean.‬‪

I'm also around here a little more.  The writing is once more beginning to flow, my brain is beginning to seek out and store potential blogisodes, and hopefully the posting will become more and more regular. 

With life the way it is I don't know how long it's going to last, I do know however that for now, I am enjoying myself again.‬‪‬



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Pinch, punch, first of the month

So a quick update then, I'm in the middle of the first of my nightshifts that make up my six weekly 'Hell Weekend', and I'm blogging...

I'm writing up all the posts that I've been promising myself I'll do for the last month, to help keep myself awake and actually enjoying myself. I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoy this place, so keep your readers primed, your eye's peeled and check your RSS feeds regularly, there be some readin' a comin' your way...
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Today I'm loving

The sheer randomness of Google* searches that have led people to this little corner of the blogosphere…

Including

How tall is Richard Farleigh
The meaning of you = you do not understand
Sorry for being bad at keeping in touch
Mafia wars irritating blackberry advertising
Nights shifts in Liverpool
The catharsis of bad writing

And most interestingly….

7 months post nose job



*and other search engines

It's all go..

Well, I have an hour left to go before I finish work, and a busy day ahead planned.

From here I'm driving 40 miles over the to parents house for a bit of kip before going out with the P's, Sister and Nephews for lunch to celebrate my Dad's birthday.

At the moment I'm cross with my mum who thinks that getting up at 11.00am to make my sisters by 12.00 for lunch is a suitable amount of sleep for someone who only got in at 7.30 and has been awake for 23 hours....

Still I have to do it because I need to make sure I've left their place and am on my way home by 3pm, in order to avoid rush hour traffic and make the 50 mile journey as easy as possible.

(Sometimes I think that it's a good job I enjoy driving)

Plus I need to be in and out of my house before the House Husband comes home just after 5 as I am spending tonight at the boyfriends place, because tomorrow will be a busy morning followed by a very long day.

Tomorrow I need to drop the boyfriend off 20 miles away at 8am. He has hired a car for us for out weekend away and that's were he has to collect it. From there, it's back to his to leave my car, and pack the hire car, as we want to be on our way by 9.30

It's a long way to Harrogate but we're both excited and hoping it will help the journey pass reasonably quickly.

Once we've made it and it's straight to the bar where I have a feeling we'll still be in the earl hours, so like I said a long day....

But stay tuned, I'll try and do the odd quick e-mail post thanks to the power of the Blackberry, otherwise you can have the full round up when I get back...

Life moves on

and it’s moving on quite nicely. Okay so I still have this dratted divorce thingy to get over and done with which is something that is causing me plenty headaches, but I now have lots of things to look forward too.

On Friday, I’m off to my third Theakstons Old Peculiar Crime Writing Festival in Harrogate, which if I’m honest is THE social event of my year, (previous years) and I’m all excited as per usual. In fact I’m even more excited than usual. Not only is the new boyfriend attending with me this year, which means getting a whole weekend with him, this year sees the biggest contingent from my favourite forum putting in an appearance. I’ll get to have a good old catch up with several friends I’ve not seen since last year, but there will also me many more that I’ve spoken to a lot, but not met yet for me to catch up with, and put real faces to dodgy screen names and avatars.

In September, I’m off to London to stay with a friend for the weekend, combining some sight seeing with a trip to see Mark B at the Comedy Store, and I’m also currently attempting, albeit unsuccessfully at the moment, to arrange another night out / stop over with a friend who lives in Nottingham.

On top of that I’ve also got promises of a night out at home with a girl I used to work with some time ago who recently got back in touch via Facebook, and a lunch out with another couple I have lost touch with over the last six months.

Oh I feel like a social butterfly, well no actually I feel like I’m a normal person with a normal life. Finally.

Without doing too much of the boring, old relationship rantathon, I’ve never been one for going off gallivanting round the country visiting friends and socialising. I’ve never been one for socialising at home either, but neither of these are through a desire to be that way. The reasons behind this both lie with the House Husband, you see he has always been one of those people who likes to be invited to do things by others whereas I am the opposite. I will invite people to do things with us, I will invite myself round to other peoples, I will make plans. I like to have things to look forward too, it makes the crappy days easier to deal with. So quite often, plans weren’t made, and when they were, more often than not, we would get to the day of said plans and the House Husband would cancel them, because ‘he just didn’t feel like it’.

So now, I’m back to badgering my friends, making plans, and arranging visits and trips and nights out, and actually doing them. It feels great, I feel happy, and every time I reach for my diary to pencil something in the future looks a little brighter…

Quote of the Day

The purpose of life is to fight maturity

- Dick Werthimer




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Coming soon...

I promise..

An update on my fantastic day at Bristol Zoo, and the weekend I spent with one of my best mates down in Hawkhurst.

I even have pictures! :)


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A Normal Day

Imagine that!

Yes, today I think I have had what seems to be my first normal day in months.

I'm guessing it's not a complete return to normality, I'm thinking it's more of a sporadic little burst, but it's a welcome change anyhoo...

So what, I hear you ask have I spent the day doing?

Well.. I had an enjoyable morning shopping in Cheltenham which is a great place to visit even if you just want a hang out day with your friends.

I took the plunge and went for a full bra fitting service in Triumph which was an experience that was much better than I could have anticipated but did end up with me leaving the shop 38 quid lighter after purchasing a posh new set...

I also whiled away a pleasant half hour watching the world go by in a charming little cafe, spent more money on new clothes for a weekend away with the boyfriend in a months time, and wandered round many a games shop trying to decide between buying Guitar Hero or House Of The Dead - Overkill for my Nintendo Wii...

Once that was done it was back home to drop off the shopping before heading out to the pub for a couple of pints in the sunshine...

I used to have lunch at the pub on my own a lot on my days off and yet it seems another of those things that I don't seem to have done for as long as I remember.

So I grabbed my laptop, and my car keys and went off to play 'stalker girlfriend' :) well okay not quite, but I did go here....





(which is where the boyfriend works) so I could have an enjoyable bit of eye candy while I (wait for it) ACTUALLY DID SOME WRITING!!!!!! Please don't all faint at once. Yes, I did some writing as well as composing this little blogisode. Can you not see the stupid grin I have on my face right now?

It's all good you know, and the rest of the day? Well I haz a new game and a new toy gun for my Wii so I have spent the last few hours laughing my head off and killing Zombies....

Whilst I'm not here...

if you want to stay in touch you can still catch up with me...

here

and

here

alternatively if you're on facebook...
search for JoKawasaki and feel free to add me as a friend...

just put 'Bertbags' in the comments and I'll know where you've come from ...

A smidge of recognition was all it needed....

We’ll here I am posting for the second time this month on my recently rather neglected little blog. (don’t all faint at once)

I’ve been a bit absent of late because I love this little place of mine, and it means a lot to me. I am however as you know in the midst of divorce and an awful lot of my time is spent meandering the various paths of Anger, Self-pity, confusion and many a more morose route, so, out of respect for my readers, the random droppers by and myself I really had to walk away for a little while. The last thing I want is to turn this place into a monument to my marital failings, I just want to keep it, as I always intended, as a place where I can hang out with friends and have a laugh at a rather awful world.

For now however, I am an excited and re-vitalised little blogger, because I have News..... News that has made me a very smiley happy Jo

I iz gonna be in a book

In fact I iz gonna be in this book. There’s gonna be a cool (and rather large) picture of me, along with some text from my first ever blogisode.

It’s out on December 1st and I am all excited.

My head hurts

I've had a row with my husband, I can't get hold of my boyfriend or any of my friends on the phone, and now I've got to take a disciplinary action out at work against one of my colleagues, who has place a personal insult about me on a computer system accessible by around two thirds of my company...

Peter makes Jo share

but in the nicest possible way...



Given the way I have been so absorbed in my own issues of late it was nice to read this post of Peter's which made me remember how much enjoyment comes from giving, and as such, sign up to do the following....

I will make something and pass it on to the first five people that comment on this post and agree to the following -

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. Whatcha get is whatcha get.

2. What I create will be just for you, with love.

3. It'll be done this year (2009).

4. I will not give you any clue what it's going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something cyber. It may be weird or beautiful. Or it may be monstrous and annoying. Heck, I might bake something for you and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

5. I reserve the right to do something strange.

6. In return, all you need to do is: Post this text on your blog and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to this.

7. Send your mailing address - after I contact you.

So come on... who's up for something random, created just for you, by this rather odd blogger?

Ups and downs are only to be expected

which I know, but can’t accept.

Down in the dumps….

I’ve been bouncing around a lot emotionally over the last few months and it has been showing an awful lot in my attitude to life, the universe and everything. So home, work, hobbies, and friends have all been neglected of late. My writing has dried up* and there has been a sustained level of non-blogging for the last few weeks.

My only regular activities seem to have been way to much time spent on Facebook and increased activity on Twitter.**

It’s only to be expected of me at the moment I suppose, as I’m currently trying to live my life, as well as I can whilst beginning divorce proceedings against the House Husband. It’s all very sad, because we have been together 15 years and it’s a lot of history to put behind me. I still care a great deal for the man, but haven’t been in love with him for a very long time. I’ve never been selfish, being one to always put other people first and so I’ve been struggling to do what must be done, which is put myself first. This is not being helped by everyone that we know and have told being sympathetic towards him, and treating me as the villain, because I was the one who finally found the confidence to stand up and say, ‘This horse is dead you know, we can stop flogging it now.’

My parents have done their job in all of this well, they have been understanding, have listened to me vent for hours, have been to visit, and have hugged and offered support as and when required. They also pointed out in the nicest possible way that ‘it’s about time too, you haven’t been happy for years.’ If I’m honest they’re probably right, but funny how they only feel it’s okay to say that now huh?

So the bad stuff in my life is moving along, but way too slowly and leaving me feeling like I’m living in limbo land at the moment. Every decision that needs to be made is dependant on another decision that usually can’t be made, because that relies on the actions of somebody else.

The bright spot on the horizon….

Yes there is one. A very good one.

I’ve been wanting to blog about my bright spot for a while but have avoided it for superstitious reasons, but now I don’t think I need to worry anymore, so I’ll tell you all. - I have a boyfriend.

Now I’m not going to go all gushy on you and sit here waxing lyrical about my feelings for him, because that’s kinda pointless, and only going to make you all think I’m wandering of into the sunset armed with a pair of rose tinted glasses, which is something I’m firmly making every effort not to do. I’m doing my best to be realistic, and keeping myself in check, so if you see me at anytime going gushy you have my permission to give me a verbal slap, okay?

What I will say is that he has brought about a sense of balance in my life, not completely but almost, which is something I am most thankful for. I have a person I can talk to about all the bad stuff who is actually sitting in front of me at the time, instead of over the interchoobs, via text messages, or down a virtual phone line from my mobile. I am grateful for the friends I have who I can only talk to that way, and who have supported me over the last few months but you still can’t beat a real person, looking you in the eye while they listen.

We have been together a while, have even done the whole family introductions, and it’s getting to a nice comfortable stage. We have niggles, or should I say I have niggles, but I’m learning to do the one thing I’ve never really done, and actually talk them out. It’s refreshing. I’ve never been great at telling people what I’m thinking or feeling, but now I can and like I say the change is good.

I’m also thinking the Tai Chi I’ve finally got round to learning, and doing once or twice a week is actually helping too.

So whilst life is handing me lemons with one hand, I’m trying to use them to make lemonade, some days I manage it, some I don’t, but I am at least working on the recipe.





*as anyone who reads my 100 words a day blog will notice
** especially since I can once more send and receive updates via text.

Question

Last week I totally forgot that my @replies also get published on my twitter feeds….

So I rather inadvertently made an announcement I wasn't planning on making just yet.

Did you notice?